by Juli Freedman
Bad Habits Editor
[originally published March 25, 2022]
While a classroom is a perfectly fine place to say gay, some other places, maybe not. If you want to ban the word gay Mr. Government, maybe try these places first.
1. Gary’s Birthday Card
Hey you forgot the R!
2. The Quiet Place
Unless you wanna get murdered by some lagoon creatures like jim office did! Actually I never saw the movie but I think I get the premise from the title.
3. A football game where the home team is the Cleveland Browns and the opposing team is the Little Italy Gays
We all know how intense Browns fans can get!
4. Pointing at Neil Patrick Harris
He knows.
5. Pointing at my dad
He doesn’t know yet, but that’s sort of my thing.
6. When you are really trying to say “gaze”
I won’t know if you trying to talk feminist film discourse or about a group of twinks.
7. When trying to explain why people hate Ellen.
See that’s why I hate her, but it seems like the majority cares more about the mega cunt behavior.
8. When a guy with a big machete threatens “the next person who says gay gets their head macheted off”
I wouldn’t wanna mess with him!
9. At a spelling bee
You have to spell it, not say it silly!
10. Falling down a well
I think “Oh Geez I’m Fallin Down This Well, Will An Honest Country Boy Come Save Me?” would do the trick.