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QUIZ: ARE THE EAGLES GONNA COME BACK AND EAT MY LIVER AGAIN TODAY


  1. Are the eagles gonna come back and eat my liver again today?

    1. Yes.

    2. No.


  1. The eagles have come and eaten my liver every day for as far back as I remember, but I thought maybe today they’ll decide they want to do something else. Don’t you think?

    1. No, the eagles are going to come back and eat your liver again.

    2. Since it’s Friday and all, I bet the eagles are gonna give you a break. They’re probably also eager to get back to their families, so maybe they’ll slack a little on the liver-eating part of the day. That would be cool of them.


  1. It’s not that I’m complaining about the eagles! I know the eagles are an essential part of this whole situation. But I just finished regrowing this liver, like, this morning, and I think it’s some of my best work yet. Will the eagles be tearing it asunder momentarily?

    1. Yes.

    2. It’s such a nice liver, you really outdid yourself on this liver here. The eagles can surely recognize craftsmanship, and they’ll staunchly refuse to eat it.


  1. Maybe the eagles aren’t even hungry today? Like, maybe even if I offered them my liver, they’d be like, no thanks.

    1. No, the eagles are always hungry.

    2. I bet the eagles forgot they were supposed to come eat your liver after this, and they’re all having a huge lunch right now. And maybe their eagle friends are saying save room for the liver, but none of them are saving room for the liver, like, at all.


  1. I’m worried that the eagles are going to come. I’m getting a little nervous about that.

    1. The eagles are coming. Your fear has no bearing on this.

    2. Aw, no, don’t be scared! I have a friend who’s an eagle, and he just texted me that he’s running really late to work. Maybe it’s one of your eagles, maybe he’ll miss the whole shebang! I’ll tell him not to hurry.


  1. It’s just getting kinda close to the time when the eagles normally come, and I’m exactly as chained to this rock as I always am.

    1. Yes. The eagles are coming now to eat your liver again.

    2. Aha, okay, oops, it was a different eagle, mine’s just running late to his shift at Mr. Tire. Disregard my last response, it was a totally separate eagle.


  1. Do you think those are the eagles over there, just cresting the peak of the mountain? Are they about to come eat my liver again?

    1. Yes.

    2. I dunno, man, I think those are probably crows.



MOSTLY A’S: You know the eagle comes every day, more consistent than the rising sun. Perhaps it is the day. Was there ever any such thing as “day” before the eagles? You don’t think so.


MOSTLY B’S: Okay, well, the eagles definitely aren’t gonna come tomorrow.


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