By Captain Ruffles
Contributor
Common Anatomies of Disappointing Men by Sam Corbin and Mads Horwath
Unlucky in love? Don’t despair. Here’s an illustrated taxonomy of deeply disappointing men to help you identify some anatomies common to a few subspecies of Homo sapiens, so that you can spot the signs that someone is about to waste your time before it actually happens.
I Am Swimming And It Hurts Me by David Hertz
New Year's Resolutions are hard. I meant to start swimming on January 1st. Check the date of this article.
Why I Have Decided To Give Up Kidnapping by Nathaniel Stein
After thirty-four years, I have decided to give up kidnapping. To anyone who knows me, and my unerring devotion to kidnapping, this news will surely come as a shock. True, kidnapping is not what it used to be.
Winter-Outfit Word Problems by Anjali Chandrashekar
Mel had ten lip balms among five coat pockets. How many does she have now?
My Cat Studies English by Katherine Long
The cats keep their milk and the owls are learning Hebrew. Are the ducks calling me? Is my Duolingo working correctly?
Fictional Novel Or Real Woman’s Diary? How To Tell What You’re Reading by Monica Heisey
It's a common dilemma: you’ve brought home a book and are about to dive in, when you notice a woman’s name on the cover. Rats! you think.
The Secret to Wealth Is Giving Up Pointless Expenses (And Other Lessons From My Twenty-Eight-Dollar Book) by Chandler Dean and Sarah Gruen
More Americans than ever are struggling to make ends meet. Is this because wages have remained stagnant while expenses creep up? Could it be that healthcare costs more, while insurance covers less?
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